Stalking Fanny

This was originally posted as part of a ‘Portraits’ project for Lemon People

It was made from direct quotes from Fanny, and her social media profiles, without us ever meeting. The fill-in sheets I used to gather these quotes are here. The front cover is here

I saw Fanny next to a smoking vintage. She stands behind the lights and cameras surrounding the car, producing my dream of her entrance. I hear of Fanny in a town called Belleville 

The first day, she met with a friend from University of the Arts. She waited for her at the bus stop, long dark hair flicking under a woollen scarf. She picked her nails.

 “I started here in now, never thought it would become tomorrow. “

 These were the first words I knew of Fanny, muttered rushingly into the breeze. Another girl arrived. I ducked further into hiding, so they couldn’t know. It was getting freezing. I wondered what Fanny thought of it?

 “When I was a girl, I knew I wanted to play chess. When I was a boy, I decided I really wanted to win. I think the reason was Kubrick.”

 I was stuck with a view of her back, her friends face animated behind. What friend? I don’t know, I don’t know Fanny.

 “My feet whirls around a doublebass. I’ve never been in a band. I always watched films.”

 I think she’s telling a story.

 “The best climate is September.”

 Or, it’s a tinder date

 “My favourite film is 2001. My favourite book is Neon Bible. I am nostalgic, sometimes. “

Girl across smiles

“Nothing makes me happier than chokobons. Nothing makes me angrier than lies.”

Girl flashes the mask of fear. Everyone’s told lies.

 “Around me..I can see weird stuff. Sometimes I think ‘where are the fluffy bears’?”

She laughs and it is beautiful, her mouth is full of shining teeth and her lips stretch across them wide.

 “If I were cut off, couldn’t get back to myself, I would literally become a werewolf.“

With that, she leaves

 “I’m going. To Nebraska”

 I stumble on an old bottle someone left. Drinking and stalking? Step too far in my book.

 “High, did you hear, the one about the dizzy deer?”

 She’s talking to me. How?

 “How did you know I was here?”

 “I heard what I hear in my head when I’m asleep, ‘Red grass and green sky’.”

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